Category: Video Project 2016

Returning

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Lately, I’ve been bobbing just below the surface. I stopped writing in any depth a while ago. I stopped reading for the soul. I stopped meditating. I stopped yoga. I stopped crying…

There are so many reasons why. So many moving pieces here.

At first, it was because my mummy got sick and there was no time for anything. Then it was the holidays. Then my laptop broke. Then it was prepping for the start of the new year. Then it was…

It was always something.

Mostly, I think I needed some time to step away from everything, especially this blog.

So much of the last few years has been tumultuous, transitional, and chaotic. So much of me has been raw. Between grad school, and leaving DC, and the heartbreak of returning home, and finding a job, and the final destruction of my relationship, and Mum’s horrible medical turmoil, and her difficult recovery, and the outcome of the US elections…I was just reeling. It felt endless.

Although I’ve always turned to writing to deconstruct and restore, for the first time I didn’t find much solace in it.

I think for a minute, I just needed to stand still. I wanted to get my footing. I wanted to not be cracked open or feel so raw. I didn’t want to dissect why I felt so adrift. So I stopped writing. I stopped exploring. I stopped reading. I stopped capturing my 3 seconds a day. I just…stopped.

It felt healing and it felt substantial. So I continued to be still. I didn’t plan. I didn’t write. I didn’t put together videos. I didn’t listen to music. I didn’t run.

But with every month that went by, my stillness felt heavier and heavier. I began to wonder if I could ever start again. If I could ever write to the level that I had written before. If I could ever find the bravery that lined so much of my steps last year. If I’m honest with myself, fear crept it’s way into my solitude and stasis. It often does.

I don’t really know what changed and got me writing again. But I spent the last few days editing my video of my trip to Portugal and Spain last summer. It reminded me of how full life can be: full of colour, full of light, full of friendship, full of joy.

So I’m back (…I hope). I’m gonna commit the next few weeks to catching up with my 3-Seconds-a-Day videos. They are important to me. And so is this writing space.

Please enjoy the video 🙂

Video Project: June 2016

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June was the month of Queen Bey. But let’s be honest, it’s been her month since Lemonade dropped and changed my world.

This month had more highs and lows than most. The Formation Tour and my nephew’s high school graduation were the highest of highs. The referendum outcome and travel fatigue were the lows (see my political rant here). But mostly, this month was full of a lot of quiet moments, happy moments, and the tiniest bottle of hot sauce I have ever seen!! (June 13).

ps. can anyone tell I got my pets in Formation? #okayladies #INeedMoreHobbies #hahaha

Video Project: May 2016

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May can be described in just a few words: feathers, dancing, sunburns, friends, laughter, flowers, travel, wanderlust, wine, good food, Dublin, cappuccinos, London, MATILDA, Copenhagen, canals, and home.

It was an incredible month and I am so grateful it rolled out like it did.

I hope you enjoy!

Video Project: Junkanoo Carnival 2016

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Here are a few snippets of the Bahamas Junkanoo Carnival 2016. It was waaaay too much to contain in 3 seconds for the day. After 7 hours of dancing, drinking and singing, I was just happy we’d survived.

 

Photo credits: MWong Photography (https://www.facebook.com/MWongPhotography/?fref=ts) and Carnival Craze

Video Project: April 2016

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April was a bit of an odd month. Although there were lots of great moments – including a quick trip to Philly and getting to see Gabi – it mostly felt off.

Maybe it’s coming off the high of a great past month. Maybe it’s the anticipation of upcoming May adventures. Or maybe it’s just because my body has been feeling really weird/sluggish all month. But mostly, I found myself going through the motions.

At first I wasn’t going to share this as context for the video, but I want this space to be an honest reflection of my life. There are lots of great moments, but there are also more than a handful of quiet, introspective, sluggish, lonely, tummy-grumbling-for-no-reason days. I think that’s why I’m so grateful for this video project. It reminds me that life is full of a random assortment of funny, sweet, beautiful, and daring moments, even in the midst of a ‘feeling not so great’ phase.

I hope you enjoy this month’s video ❤

 

Video Project: March 2016

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you will be lost and unlost.
over and over again.
relax love.
you were meant to be this glorious epic story.
 
// Nayyirah Waheed //

 

This month’s video very much felt like a love letter to home.

For so long I fought against returning home. Ask anyone. It was the last thing I ever wanted to do and the hardest. I felt like I would suffocate on this tiny island and would never live out my full potential. And when the wheels of my plane touched down, I felt nothing but bitter disappointment.

But it was the ones I hold dearest that talked me through the worst of it. They reminded me that feeling lost and disappointed isn’t an end, but a short detour. They helped me to be brave and to embrace my time at home. To them, I owe so much. They are all parts of home to me.

So now, 7 months later, I am able to celebrate what being home has been for me. There is so much beauty here. Home has been a safe harbour to pick up all my pieces. It has given me the chance to reflect and be more intentional. Hopefully, it has made me a better friend/sister/daughter/aunt/cousin; now less in my own head. This has, without a doubt, been a path that needed to be traveled.

*On an even happier note: one of my best friends got engaged near the end of the video! She is the kindest and funniest person I know, and she’s marrying a man who loves her like no other. I am so happy for her.

❤

Video Project: February 2016

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February was a great month for so many reasons. The month started with me cutting all my hair off and ended with a leap day of sunshine. Somewhere in the middle, we wished an old friend good luck as she starts a new journey in Australia, and I forgot to film Feb. 26.

I think one of the most fascinating side effects of this project is me opting in so much more. Those who know me well know that I’m more likely to be found in quiet spaces (namely, my bed) or with close friends, than out & about in a crowd of a hundred strangers. I often find all the ways possible to opt out of flashy social events, for fear that I won’t enjoy it or that my awkward turtle-ness will come out. But with this project, I find myself saying “yes” more often to invitations; if only to get a good video clip. But maybe that’s okay. There’s a world to be explored and captured. I should be opting in more often. So with that: here’s February 2016. A month full of being brave.