Tag: August

Lately, I’ve been bobbing just below the surface. I stopped writing in any depth a while ago. I stopped reading for the soul. I stopped meditating. I stopped yoga. I stopped crying…

There are so many reasons why. So many moving pieces here.

At first, it was because my mummy got sick and there was no time for anything. Then it was the holidays. Then my laptop broke. Then it was prepping for the start of the new year. Then it was…

It was always something.

Mostly, I think I needed some time to step away from everything, especially this blog.

So much of the last few years has been tumultuous, transitional, and chaotic. So much of me has been raw. Between grad school, and leaving DC, and the heartbreak of returning home, and finding a job, and the final destruction of my relationship, and Mum’s horrible medical turmoil, and her difficult recovery, and the outcome of the US elections…I was just reeling. It felt endless.

Although I’ve always turned to writing to deconstruct and restore, for the first time I didn’t find much solace in it.

I think for a minute, I just needed to stand still. I wanted to get my footing. I wanted to not be cracked open or feel so raw. I didn’t want to dissect why I felt so adrift. So I stopped writing. I stopped exploring. I stopped reading. I stopped capturing my 3 seconds a day. I just…stopped.

It felt healing and it felt substantial. So I continued to be still. I didn’t plan. I didn’t write. I didn’t put together videos. I didn’t listen to music. I didn’t run.

But with every month that went by, my stillness felt heavier and heavier. I began to wonder if I could ever start again. If I could ever write to the level that I had written before. If I could ever find the bravery that lined so much of my steps last year. If I’m honest with myself, fear crept it’s way into my solitude and stasis. It often does.

I don’t really know what changed and got me writing again. But I spent the last few days editing my video of my trip to Portugal and Spain last summer. It reminded me of how full life can be: full of colour, full of light, full of friendship, full of joy.

So I’m back (…I hope). I’m gonna commit the next few weeks to catching up with my 3-Seconds-a-Day videos. They are important to me. And so is this writing space.

Please enjoy the video 🙂