Tag: josswhedon

I have to remind myself that it’s okay to be both happy and bitter. Light-hearted and shattered. Resilient and pissed the fuck off. I can be friendly, hopeful, nostalgic, spiteful, broken, envious, self-involved, and regretful…all in the same moment. I can want so desperately to correct the past and know that that can never happen. I can be in the process of letting go and still dive into the depths of grief. I can know that I both had and have soulmates. I can wish for something with every fiber of my bones…and still recognize how profoundly empty it is to need that. I can be sad for myself and happy for others. I can have swells of immense joy and laughter in the light and still break apart in the shadows.

I am the in-between. Maybe not forever. Maybe not even for much longer. But this is what it looks like. This is what it feels like. This is what it takes to expand your horizons. It doesn’t always feel right. Or just. Or easy. And it doesn’t go away in a day, week, month, or maybe a year.

I just have to find my way back to the light. Even if it means crossing through the in-between.

You have – which is a rare thing – the ability and the responsibility to listen to the descent in yourself. To at least give it the floor. Okay? To accept [this] duality is to earn identity. – Joss Whedon