Tag: wanderlust

Returning

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Lately, I’ve been bobbing just below the surface. I stopped writing in any depth a while ago. I stopped reading for the soul. I stopped meditating. I stopped yoga. I stopped crying…

There are so many reasons why. So many moving pieces here.

At first, it was because my mummy got sick and there was no time for anything. Then it was the holidays. Then my laptop broke. Then it was prepping for the start of the new year. Then it was…

It was always something.

Mostly, I think I needed some time to step away from everything, especially this blog.

So much of the last few years has been tumultuous, transitional, and chaotic. So much of me has been raw. Between grad school, and leaving DC, and the heartbreak of returning home, and finding a job, and the final destruction of my relationship, and Mum’s horrible medical turmoil, and her difficult recovery, and the outcome of the US elections…I was just reeling. It felt endless.

Although I’ve always turned to writing to deconstruct and restore, for the first time I didn’t find much solace in it.

I think for a minute, I just needed to stand still. I wanted to get my footing. I wanted to not be cracked open or feel so raw. I didn’t want to dissect why I felt so adrift. So I stopped writing. I stopped exploring. I stopped reading. I stopped capturing my 3 seconds a day. I just…stopped.

It felt healing and it felt substantial. So I continued to be still. I didn’t plan. I didn’t write. I didn’t put together videos. I didn’t listen to music. I didn’t run.

But with every month that went by, my stillness felt heavier and heavier. I began to wonder if I could ever start again. If I could ever write to the level that I had written before. If I could ever find the bravery that lined so much of my steps last year. If I’m honest with myself, fear crept it’s way into my solitude and stasis. It often does.

I don’t really know what changed and got me writing again. But I spent the last few days editing my video of my trip to Portugal and Spain last summer. It reminded me of how full life can be: full of colour, full of light, full of friendship, full of joy.

So I’m back (…I hope). I’m gonna commit the next few weeks to catching up with my 3-Seconds-a-Day videos. They are important to me. And so is this writing space.

Please enjoy the video 🙂

Wanderlust & Solo Travel

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I had never really traveled by myself until this past month. Before this, I’d always gone places with someone or had plans to meet someone when my plane/train/automobile stopped. So when I found out I’d be going to Europe for work, I knew this was my chance.

At the end of May, I spent two weeks in Dublin, London & Copenhagen. I traveled mostly alone, ate mostly alone and explored mostly alone. It was like breathing fresh air for the first time in a long time.

Being alone, so far from home and everyone you know, is equal parts liberating and reflective. I don’t even know if I could fully explain it. The quiet gives you time to be uninhibited, to explore, to think, to eat, to smile at strangers, to be meditative, to feel lonely, to wander and get lost, to practice gratitude, to feel annoyed that you missed that train because you couldn’t figure out the damn map, and mostly…to feel alive.

Traveling alone and outside of your comfort zone is a privilege. I know that not everyone has the time, money, or energy to do so. A year ago, a trip like this would’ve been a fantasy for me. But as soon as you are able to travel, I sincerely recommend that you go.  It is an essential element for growth. You don’t have to go that far. Just go. And take no one with you. I’ll let Cheryl Strayed take it from here:

“Go! Go! Go! You need it one more time, darlin? GO.

Really. Truly. As soon as you can. Of this I am absolutely sure: Do not reach the era of child-rearing and real jobs with a guitar case full of crushing regret for all the things you wished you’d done in your youth. Sugar knows too many people who didn’t do those things. They all end up mingy, addled, shrink-wrapped versions of the people they intended to be.

It’s hard to go. It’s scary and lonely and your band-mates will have a fit and half the time you’ll be wondering why the hell you’re in Cincinnati or Austin or North Dakota or Mongolia or wherever your melodious little finger-plucking heinie takes you. There will be boondoggles and discombobulated days, freaked out nights and metaphorical flat tires.

But it will be soul-smashingly beautiful, Solo. It will open up your life.”

– Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar

 

Video Project: May 2016

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May can be described in just a few words: feathers, dancing, sunburns, friends, laughter, flowers, travel, wanderlust, wine, good food, Dublin, cappuccinos, London, MATILDA, Copenhagen, canals, and home.

It was an incredible month and I am so grateful it rolled out like it did.

I hope you enjoy!